Honesty
Well Kirk and I had a good visit last night. We watched "Lost". Dad got up and had a few bites of supper, then wanted to rest. He was very aware last night. When we came in, he put his hand out to shake Kirk's hand. They don't normally hug, but shake good-bye or hello... so that was nice. Kirk did load a program on her computer so she can do her grades at home, too. I looked at mom's new yard magazines she got in the mail. We are making bigs plans for this spring ans summer, hopefully we get some of them done. Dad slept most of the time we were there, but did wake up when we were heading out. I told him I would see him Saturday, he asked what day it was, I said Wednesday, he seemed to ponder it and then said ok.
Yesterday afternoon there was one extra visitor, John, the hospice minister. Mom and dad really like him. When he got there, mom was still gone, so he talked to Uncle Cliff. Dad did recognized his voice when he came in, mom said that she asked him this morning if he remember his visit, he said "shaved head John". (Because he does shave his head) The minister stayed a while and chatted with mom. They talked about lots of things, including if mom and dad had talked about the funeral. Mom said yes, and they talked about things for it and what was still undecided. This lead mom to ask dad some questions last night after we left, since he was up. They worked out a few more things and then dad said, we can talk about that in the morning. So that was that. Mom said she was glad to get his opinions, and was glad to get a few more things in order.
This morning she also said that Danna was going to check with Sue about coming down to give dad a haircut. He really needs one. She is hoping she will come down on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It is nice to have a friend of the family that cuts your hair in times like this! : )
Mom said dad slept all night. He stirred about 5 and had to go to the bathroom, but went right back to sleep. She did get him up about 9 for breakfast. Then shaved him, brushed his teeth, washed his hair and cleaned up in general. He said "what's next" after all of that and mom said "lets take some pills", he said ok. After that he was ready to sleep again and was still sleeping when I talked to her about 11.
She said she was working on her grade sheets, something didn't save right from when Kirk fixed it last night, but she was getting it done. She was also going to write up more stuff for Mrs. Wood, her sub for the mornings, for the next units. They are still decorating cakes today, I will have her send me the pictures after they are done and have Kirk post them for you all to see. It is kind of neat!
This afternoon Colleen Alley and Kim from hospice are staying with dad.
I did want you all to know that dad is sleeping more and eating less. I think that probably means that his time is drawing nearer. As those are more signs. I could be wrong and he could rebound, but I wanted to be honest with all of you who do read this. The most asked question I get about dad is "how is he doing", it is so hard to answer. Since I started writing the messages I have tried to figure out how to answer it, and it is impossible. So what we say is "he is hanging in there" and he is, he is really strong. I wish there was a better way to answer it yet, but I don't think there is.
Thanks for taking time to check on dad.
Nic
Yesterday afternoon there was one extra visitor, John, the hospice minister. Mom and dad really like him. When he got there, mom was still gone, so he talked to Uncle Cliff. Dad did recognized his voice when he came in, mom said that she asked him this morning if he remember his visit, he said "shaved head John". (Because he does shave his head) The minister stayed a while and chatted with mom. They talked about lots of things, including if mom and dad had talked about the funeral. Mom said yes, and they talked about things for it and what was still undecided. This lead mom to ask dad some questions last night after we left, since he was up. They worked out a few more things and then dad said, we can talk about that in the morning. So that was that. Mom said she was glad to get his opinions, and was glad to get a few more things in order.
This morning she also said that Danna was going to check with Sue about coming down to give dad a haircut. He really needs one. She is hoping she will come down on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It is nice to have a friend of the family that cuts your hair in times like this! : )
Mom said dad slept all night. He stirred about 5 and had to go to the bathroom, but went right back to sleep. She did get him up about 9 for breakfast. Then shaved him, brushed his teeth, washed his hair and cleaned up in general. He said "what's next" after all of that and mom said "lets take some pills", he said ok. After that he was ready to sleep again and was still sleeping when I talked to her about 11.
She said she was working on her grade sheets, something didn't save right from when Kirk fixed it last night, but she was getting it done. She was also going to write up more stuff for Mrs. Wood, her sub for the mornings, for the next units. They are still decorating cakes today, I will have her send me the pictures after they are done and have Kirk post them for you all to see. It is kind of neat!
This afternoon Colleen Alley and Kim from hospice are staying with dad.
I did want you all to know that dad is sleeping more and eating less. I think that probably means that his time is drawing nearer. As those are more signs. I could be wrong and he could rebound, but I wanted to be honest with all of you who do read this. The most asked question I get about dad is "how is he doing", it is so hard to answer. Since I started writing the messages I have tried to figure out how to answer it, and it is impossible. So what we say is "he is hanging in there" and he is, he is really strong. I wish there was a better way to answer it yet, but I don't think there is.
Thanks for taking time to check on dad.
Nic
2 Comments:
To Bill's Family - This is the hardest time of your life. Treasure each moment, even if it seems like a difficult moment. There is no question that your Dad is already in God's hands, and God just hasn't decided when he needs another wonderful person in his family. It's so hard to understand, and we probably never do, why things like this have to happen, why it takes so long, why us but believe me, God is there for you. When my husband was so ill, my daughter was living at home, and I couldn't have kept Darrel at home without her and hospice. My son lived away, and it's so difficult for them because they don't see the day-to-day happenings, so they handle things differently. And in the end they grieve differently. I am so glad that this hospice thing was dreamed up so that we could still be a part of the regular world and not just with the ill world. If there is ever anything I can do, just give me a call. Your Aunt Kathy will know how to reach me. Jo
Jo,
Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. I started this "blog" thing this year as a way to include everyone that is dear with what I did and my family did that day. When dad first went into the hospital, I didn't know what to do so I just started to blog it. Each day I would pour my feelings into a webpage not knowing if anyone was reading it. It was comforting to get comments that let me know I was not alone in my feelings.
Like your son, I too live away from the rest of my family. I rely on what I hear from my sisters and mother to form a picture of dad's day. Let me take this opportunity again to thank Mom, Danna and Nic for all that they do every day. They are the true Angels on Earth for Dad.
I know that Dad is going to leave us soon. When... that is in God's capable hands.
Thank you for your comments Jo. They mean so much more than you know.
-Andy Scott
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